To God, all victims of violence, the abusers, bullies and violent offenders, I owe you the sincerest apology from my heart and soul! Please trust and forgive me when I say that I wish many years ago I could have gotten this message to the individuals who could have possibly been inspired or used the solutions I am offering to have prevented bringing any harm to another person and themselves. I know firsthand what it feels like to NOT be appropriately loved and shown how to love another properly, and as a result, I became a domestic violence offender, bully, and abuser of someone else’s child. I am completely accountable for my horrific actions in hurting others and offer no excuses to make light of those I have harmed, bullied, and abused. I contributed majorly in attempting to destroy God’s property and my victim’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being! I had no right or authority to commit such vile and heinous acts towards another human being! My purpose on this planet is to inspire humanity by providing solutions to permanently eradicate violence against all children, women, men, and members of the LGBTQ communities respectfully! I will protect these innocent victims by taking the violence away from the predator. Domestic violence directly or indirectly leads to child abuse and bullying! This mission to permanently eradicate domestic violence will be my legacy!
I apologize sincerely from the genuine parts of my heart and soul to the individuals I have victimized, tortured, traumatized and abused physically, verbally, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally. I am sincerely apologetic and fully accountable for the pain that I have caused that negatively impacted their life! I live with the guilt of knowing that I harmed others when they never did anything wrong to deserve my malicious treatment! I am doing everything within the limits of my capacity to ensure the millions of dysfunctional people just like me get the mental health and wellness they require to permanently eradicate harming another individual, animal, community and themselves as a result of being a domestic violence offender, child abuser, or bully. I am ending the cycle of violence and abuse right now for the future generations who will perpetuate love instead of hate. Other innocent families, individuals, and communities should never be paying the penalty for these offender’s crimes.
Abusers like me must understand that their mental health is as equally important, if not more significant, as their physical health and they must get help now not tomorrow. It is not a request to get help now, but rather, it is a requirement to get help now because someone’s life & legacy depends on it.
I live for the sole purpose of saving the lives and legacies of children, women, members of the LGBTQ community, and any other individuals or animals harmed or impacted by domestic violence, child abuse, and bullying while ridding bloodlines and generations of cyclical, perpetual violence and abuse from the victimizers of these crimes. I pray I and my book The Family Man: Solutions To Permanently Eradicate Domestic Violence, Child Abuse & Bully reaches the souls, hearts, and minds of abusers, violent offenders, bullies, their families, friends, bosses, activists, victims of violence, abuse, bullying, rape, molestation, sexual assault, and harassment. I wrote The Family Man, a how-to guide, for any individuals who wish to be a change agent to bring about a permanent and prosperous change to prevent violence, bullying, and abuse against any human being or animal regardless of their gender, identity, lifestyle, demographics or religious affiliation. I am not calling out victimizers, batterers, abusers, bullies or violent offenders, but rather, I am calling them in to get the required mental health help, so they can permanently stop harming others and themselves. I will partner and stand with the victims of domestic violence, child abuse, bullying, rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment. I will do the same for offenders too! No more public shame or character assassination to either the victim or the victimizer for the ones who have made the courageous decision to come forward voluntarily, and without political pressure, so they can be healed. I want victims and victimizers to come forward out of the dark to get help before they are harmed or harm others. I want volunteers to come forward to be “MenTours™” and “WomenTours™” in partnering with me in serving those in need! I need everyone’s loving help!
My decision to confess publicly to being a domestic violence offender, abuser & bully is I do not want to see another victim or victimizer harmed, along with the destruction of their family and legacy. I paid the ultimate cost for someone else’s crime as a child and as a result of my own self-destructive, manipulative, and controlling behavior, along with my ignorant decisions to not get the appropriate mental health solutions as a result of being abused, assaulted, neglected and a tortured soul as a child, I went on to brutally assault personal relationships, corporate family, friends, and a dog named Toby*. These were individuals who loved me unconditionally and put up with my craziness, despite the extreme reciprocated physical, verbal, psychological, emotional, and mental torture I put each of them through. I systematically destroyed my legacy, and many once in a lifetime experiences and opportunities as a result. I do not want anyone to experience what I have done to others, what others have done to me, and the things I have put myself through that can never be made right.
I am calling in, not out, myself first and all the bullies, abusers and violent offenders like me, making a non-judgmental, heartfelt, genuine plea to them to get help! Our victims, fellow humanity, the animal kingdom, and family bloodline are screaming for us to stop harming them and ourselves! I sincerely apologize to “All” the victims of any abuse and violence that I have directly or indirectly caused during my only life on this planet. To my wife, kids, the generations of Burgess grandchildren who will be innately impacted in my bloodline, my mother, grandmother, cousins, aunts, uncles, my former friend and victim Michelle, her husband and children, the Thompson family, her dog Roscoe* and my dog Toby* the boxers, Dr. William Harvey and Hampton University, the McDonogh School, Oklahoma State University, the late Elrod Hendricks and his family, the Baltimore Orioles, Grade School and College friends and professors, the many coaches and teammates along with their parents that supported me as a youth to be the best student, athlete, friend and human being, but due to my horrific decisions to commit vile acts of violence, bullying and abuse against the individuals who loved, cared, provided, and protected me, I let you and my legacy down! If possible, in your heart and soul, please forgive me. I certainly respect if anyone does not forgive me.
I want to ensure that I do my best in my one lifetime to safeguard any person I can reach in person or with this book, so they do not systematically destroy and impact the lives and legacies of others, and their own, by not choosing the appropriate solutions to prevent violence against any human being or animal! I apologize to those individuals I could not reach in time to prevent them from harming others and themselves and especially those that needed the encouragement to come forward to get themselves or a loved one help. I do not want anyone to end up in a jail or prison cell or worst on a psychiatric ward, or suicide watch, because of ignorance and careless disregard for another human being’s feelings! I do not want you, anyone you may know and love, or your legacy to die! I want those who have struggled with violence and abuse to be proactive and not reactive towards their mental health and choosing self-love over hate by changing their evil, violent behavior and get the necessary help required to learn how to cope forever in life with violence and abuse! I want those individuals who have never been violent or abusive to help me help those who are by being mentours™, womentours™, partners, and shining examples of how to cope and live a purposeful, balanced, energetic, abundant, happy life!
The greatest regret I have in life was taking too long to get help for my violent behavior, as well as howling and letting someone know family members were harming me as a child. Those secrets and silence led to my violence towards others and me. I paid the price for a crime I never committed as a child and ultimately ended up reciprocating that violence to innocent family members and friends. I will spend the rest of my life trying to save lives and legacies of victims and victimizers, so they do not end up perpetuating and experiencing the incredible pains and losses I have had in my life!
Victims should not be the first person to reach out to their victimizer for their healing. The victimizer should be more accountable and aware that the healing process begins when they, the victimizers, proactively apologize to their victims, when their victims are ready to receive their apology. The strongest and most in control person are the individuals who realize they have a severe personal deficiency and they proactively become accountable to a permanent solution! Do you know how mentally strong and courageous you must be to overcome and survive abuse publicly? Victims are suffering in silence! We can never blame the victims! If we blame them, the cycle of violence continues!
Victimizers must stop running from being an offender and come forward to admit they are a violent offender, abuser or bully publicly? Many victimizers are heroes publicly and zeros privately. You are embarrassed and ashamed to admit that you are a victim, as well as admitting to the world you are or have been a predator against someone who is innocent and defenseless. If the strength is in the admission then surrender to your deficiencies and admit your pains clinically by getting help & stay committed to being mentally healthy. The most dangerous person is the person who is not accountable and aware of their mental health and behavior and how their violence and abuse impacts others. As a society, we should never publicly shame or assassinate the character of a victim or any individual who is abused and or seeking healing! What I know now is what you do not know and do about yourself can truly hurt you and others!
The bottom-line: Evil Only Wins When Good Does Nothing and Evil Should Never Define Your Life or Legacy!
Abusive monsters are not born…. they are created. We are all born to love and manufactured to hate! The truth is, someone is pushing their pain, abuse, and illness by way of force or choice, onto an innocent person who is undoubtedly unaware and incapable of stopping that predator’s agenda. How can you properly love anyone or anything if you have never been properly loved? When you hurt someone or damage something, you are hurting & damaging yourself! If you abuse her or your child, you are abusing yourself! You bully them, you are bullying yourself! You hate them. You hate yourself! Who would do that to their self? Your physical well-being must match your mental well-being! Abusing someone physically and then also torturing them mentally is the ultimate sign you urgently need an intervention! Bruises may heal, but the psychological effects may linger for a lifetime for an individual.
I ignorantly refused to take the sincere, genuine advice immediately from individuals who honestly had a concerned love for me and my welfare! I chose to not get help for my violent temper and high propensity to violence towards humanity and my dog Toby*, and it cost me a path in life that I wish upon no one. I plead to all violent offenders, child abusers, and bullies to please stand up, step forward, speak out and GET HELP NOW! This mission is about ridding every home of domestic violence and child abuse and every school of bullying with the result being we helped to save lives and legacies! I want to provide sincere, nonjudgmental hope to any abuser that it is possible to permanently eradicate domestic violence, child abuse, and bullying!
We can all choose to scowl publicly and growl at the abuser and violent offenders who opt not to get help to heal themselves from what ails their mind, body, and soul! However, I warn against shunning or overly judging the abusers or victimizers, if we do not offer a realistic, tangible approach and permanent solution to get them healed, and not treated. We owe this to the victims.
I want my mother, aunt, and uncle to know that this book was never written to embarrass them publicly or diminish their respect level and legacy with others. My intent is to show others that they, like you and me, can survive trauma with the right solutions to live a productive and happy life, despite the challenges or obstacles that violence and abuse may put in your life. My family should know that whenever the first person goes forward to tackle an unpopular social issue, they often times pay the price with their sacrifice, but ultimately time will show the world that their intent was to make humanity better and more peaceful.
Violence of any kind impacts an entire community! We can never blame or judge the victims of domestic violence, child abuse, and bullying and must always take a victim at their word until it is proven otherwise! The truth will always come to light and we as a society should never put a mute button or muzzle on the victim to silence them from getting justice and freedom from the devastating pain caused by a victimizer. I pray I help to take off the muzzles of the victims as well as convincing their abusers to stop putting muzzles on individuals who actually care for them and their mental health wellness.
We only get one lifetime on earth. What will your legacy be to those who know you? How will your obituary read or what will be inscribed on your tombstone? Will you be in a cemetery in a lonely grave destined for hell or with other abusers and violent offenders, with a headstone engraved with an epitaph and obituary that reads “Here alone lies a prolific abuser, destroyer of self-esteem and happy spirits, a quitter, doubter, coward, bully, an intimate partner abuser, a wife-beater, a domestic torturer and terrorist, humanitarian hater, a profound perpetrator of hate, violence and abuse and as a result promotes generational curses in bloodlines and one who murders legacies? This person did not care about the welfare of those who loved them, and the spouses and children relying on them to provide, protect and pray for them!” If you do not want this to read on your tombstone or obituary, be a loving person and get the required help now to become the loving person you and others want you to be! Your Heavenly Brother… A.W. Burgess